Fit for Life: Is Your Life and Example or a Warning?

Saturday, December 03, 2022

Matt Espeut, Health & Lifestyle Contributor

 

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PHOTO: File

Have you ever stopped to think about what people will say about you when you’re gone?

 

I do it all the time. As a matter of fact, I think more about what people will think about me when I’m gone than I care about what people think about me now.

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The reason being is I know I rub some people the wrong way when they first meet me, but over time, I think people realize my intentions are good, and my mission and purpose is to help people change their lives for the better.

 

Case & Point:

 

At last week’s Shea High School Thanksgiving Day game, while the team was celebrating a win, one of my players turned to me and said “Hey Coach, you were right, PAIN INITIATES TRANSFORMATION” - one of my “motivating” mantra’s I would yell out during my grueling practice workouts.

 

I looked at him with surprise and said “You remember that? I thought you guys hated me?”. He, along with several other players congregated and said “You are right, our first practices with you, we all hated you, but we now realize that what you did to us, made us better.”

 

With a BIG SMILE, I told them that means I did my job. If they liked me from the start, that would have meant I was being too easy on them, and I wouldn’t have effectively done the job I set out to do.

 

That’s the reason why I don’t put a lot of energy or time into worrying if people like me or not.

 

Love me or hate me, but don’t just tolerate me is an expression I heard from one of my more controversial self-help gurus. It makes a lot of sense, because not everyone will like you, and it’s impossible to try to please everyone, so be your authentic self, and let your network decide to follow you or not.

 

I think earning respect is more important than being liked; therefore, I worked hard to earn the team's respect by leading by example.

 

Regardless of how hot it was, if it was raining, if I was injured, I got in the trenches and worked out on the field and in the weight room right beside them.

 

I made them realize that if an old man was willing & able to get down and dirty, they could too. I wasn’t some talking head, I walked the walk right beside them. I wanted to be an example.

 

That brings me to a quote I read that asks: Is your life an EXAMPLE or a WARNING? How will you be remembered?

 

How is that something to think about?

 

Since I read that quote, I have been analyzing my past, and thinking about what the future should look like in order to leave a legacy of example and not warning.

 

I could name numerous instances in my life that I would put a warning sign on and tell you to avoid at all cost, but moving forward, I want people to say “look at his life, that’s an example of what a good life looks like”.

 

So what are some differences that could dictate whether people look at your life and say BEWARE of how he lived, as opposed to what I mentioned above.

 

You will be labeled an example if:

⁃You took care of yourself. People will envy your discipline and dedication to creating a healthy, vital, and energetic lifestyle. Staying fit and doing the work sets a good example of how we should all be living. No exceptions.

⁃You give back. Regardless of how much you make, a good example of a quality human is someone that gives back. It doesn’t need to be monetary either. Just volunteering your time will make a difference.

⁃Don’t take the easy way out. When you cheat, cut corners, and look for the easy way out, you are not setting a good example of what a strong work ethic looks like.

⁃Take responsibility for your actions. Holding yourself accountable and not playing the blame game is a great example to set for leading a quality life.

 

You will carry a warning label if:

⁃You carry around unnecessary extra weight, smoke cigarettes, drink excessively and need a doctor with a revolving door at the front entrance. Not only do those habits require a warning sign, but if you have kids, what kind of example are you setting for them?

⁃You need to scam, lie, and cheat to get ahead in life. Not only is it unlawful, but unethical too. Karma is a bitch, so be warned that what energy you put into the universe, will usually come back to you.

⁃You are entitled and think the world owes you something. This is what I call the victim mentality. Everyone and everything gets in your way, and nothing ever works out for you. Warning…keep thinking this way, and nothing ever will.

 

So ask yourself again, will my life be remembered as an example to live by, or a warning NOT to live by.

 

As I said earlier, I have lived a turbulent life with many ups and downs. I have made a lot of mistakes along the way that put me in unfavorable positions throughout my tenure.

 

From the time I was a kid, I have been reckless and failed to realize the consequences for my actions, but I learned a lot from past experiences, and can warn you not to choose the same path I traveled.

 

Moving forward, I try to set an example and let my actions coincide with my words. If I tell you to eat healthy, I need to be eating healthy. If I tell you to train hard, I am training hard. If I ask someone on my team to work hard, I will do the same.

 

Lead by example, be the example and people will notice.

 

Don’t leave a legacy where people stand over your grave and say, “He wasn’t a bad guy, but be warned, if you live like him, your life will be a disaster too!”

 

That’s NOT the example I want people to follow!!

 

Committed to your success,

Matt

 

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