Finneran: Leftovers
Monday, December 09, 2019
We enter the Thanksgiving-Christmas holiday season at great risk of adding about five pounds to our tummies. As my workout friends at Planet Fitness note, it’s all about too much pie (or cake or chocolate or pizza or beer or all of the above). We go forth, onward to the next feast.
- Am I the last American to love mince pie? My entire family looks at me as if I’m nuts when I ask them to bring home a mince pie. Apple pie, cherry pie, blueberry pie, pumpkin pie, and pecan pie all make the list, but mince pie just gets a roll of the eyes and an emphatic negative shake of the head.,
- I ventured to Star Market a few days after Thanksgiving and there they were stacked on the sale table, dozens of mince pies. Nirvana for me, although it bodes ill for next year…….will any store continue to carry an item that just sits on the shelves until it gets moved to the markdown table? I should have bought a dozen of them and put them in the freezer. I love mince pie.
- This week’s storm followed the now-familiar pattern of breathless hype followed by “breaking news” clips of people buying shovels, snowblowers, and rock salt. It’s December and we live in New England. Snow at this time of year is not the equivalent of a solar eclipse. It happens, regularly.
- Given the timing of the storm, Tuesday morning’s commute was rough. It was made rougher by two unavoidable facts of life: First, people seem to forget how to drive in snow, almost as if they’ve spent their entire life living at the Equator. I call it repetitive seasonal stupidity. Why does this happen, every storm, every year? Second, every other vehicle on the road is a big fat pickup whose driver seems intent on qualifying for the Indy 500. I blame those TV commercials which are shot in some remote location, hundreds of miles away from any human being. As the truck hurtles along over hill and dale through piles of snow, an image of invincibility takes hold. This boldness, however, does not transfer very well to the Southeast Expressway. In fact, I’d make a bet that the cameraman who films the ad is probably hunkered down in a protective steel cage for the inevitable moment when the truck skids out of control and the stunt driver is taken to the hospital with head injuries. The only good news that comes out the hospital visit is that a brain scan of the driver found nothing. No kidding. I could have told them that without the need for an MRI. Everyone involved in making such ads is brain-dead to begin with.
- One final gripe: does anyone else detest those car commercials which feature Christmas morning and a brand new car in the driveway sporting a big red Christmas bow on the grill? Apparently nothing says peace on Earth and goodwill to all better than a shiny BMW on the lawn. Lexus, Mercedes, and BMW are the prime offenders of these paeans to conspicuous consumption. Bah humbug!
And a sincere peace on Earth and goodwill to your family during this Christmas season.
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Tom Finneran is the former Speaker of the Massachusetts House of Representatives, served as the head the Massachusetts Biotechnology Council, and was a longstanding radio voice in Boston radio.
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