Finneran: When Men Were Men, Today Social Slobs
Sunday, June 16, 2019
Tom Finneran, GoLocalProv MINDSETTER™
View Larger +
Tom Finneran
Commonplace courtesies were once commonplace. Men opened doors for women. Men gave up their seats on the bus or the train for women. Not so much anymore. Not in 2019. Not on the Red Line.
A few rides on the Red Line this week---none of which derailed---were eye-opening. American men, black, white, and brown, have become self-absorbed slobs. They are zombies with ear buds. They stare vacantly ahead, oblivious to the young pregnant woman struggling to maintain her balance as the train lurches along the rails. They are oblivious to the elderly woman hobbling on a cane as she enters the train. They are oblivious to all things except to their own selfish slouching comfort. Meet today’s physical, mental, and social slobs.
I have very clear memories of men, including frail and elderly men, rising in unison to surrender their seats whenever a woman boarded a train. These were men with manners. These were men with pride. That was at a time when men were men.
GET THE LATEST BREAKING NEWS HERE -- SIGN UP FOR GOLOCAL FREE DAILY EBLAST
We hear about “toxic masculinity” a lot these days. Harvey Weinstein and his fellow pigs have unleashed an urgent and overdue fury. Yet Weinstein’s behavior, and the behavior I see every day has nothing to do with true masculinity. Rather, it has everything to do with selfish ignorance. We have raised at least two generations whose first, second, and third thoughts are all about themselves, their comfort, their convenience, and their pleasure. And before that, there were always the piggish Weinsteins, the Lauers, and the Roses whose celebrity status immunized them from righteous consequence.
Having sated their every little whim and desire, why are we surprised that they act like boors? Courtesy? What’s that they ask? Manners? “Huh”? they grunt. Civility? They have no clue.
Beyond public manners---giving up one’s seat on the bus, holding the door open for a lady, helping a slowing senior across a busy street---there are other yardsticks by which to measure men.
Yardstick number one is housework. Do they help out with the laundry? Do they help out with the vacuum, the broom, and the Swifter? Do they wash the floors?
Yardstick number two is dishes. Do they wash the dishes? Do they scrub the pots and pans? Do they occasionally pitch in and make breakfast or lunch or dinner?
Yardstick number three is diapers. Dirty diapers to be more precise. A good man takes pride in his ability to change a messy diaper. It’s like swishing a long-range three pointer, getting high fives from all one’s teammates. The mother is happy as you have actually done something helpful. The baby is happy with its new diaper and a clean dry bottom. And you got real-time practice for the next diaper change in about three hours or so. Winners all around.
Congratulations to you. You’ve gone old school---back to the day when men were men.
Tom Finneran is the former Speaker of the Massachusetts House of Representatives, served as the head the Massachusetts Biotechnology Council, and was a longstanding radio voice in Boston radio
Related Slideshow: 19 to Watch in 2019 - FULL LIST
View Larger +
Prev
Next
Angie Armenise
Chef and co-owner of Blackie’s Bulldog Tavern in Smithfield, Angie Armenise has it all going. Expansion to a new and larger location, a wonderfully loyal customer base and a big stack of awards -- and more to come in the new year. READ MORE
View Larger +
Prev
Next
Marcela Betancur
Marcela Betancur, the new head of Latino Policy Institute at Roger Williams University and will be the power behind Latinx think tank in 2019.
Betancur, a Central Falls native, most recently worked READ MORE
View Larger +
Prev
Next
Brian Goldner
No one will influence the psyche of Rhode Island more this year than Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner. After the loss of the PawSox to Worcester and the closing of Rhode Island’s beloved Benny's in 2017, Rhode Islanders are a bit raw.
He is poised to announce that Hasbro is...READ MORE
View Larger +
Prev
Next
Cortney Nicolato
New United Way of Rhode Island President and CEO Cortney Nicolato succeeded Anthony Maione in 2018 — and takes on her first full year at the helm of the social service organization in 2019.
She is a Rhode Islander turned Texan returned back to Rhode Island. The Pawtucket native is all about Rhode Island and is passionate about helping to improve issues of housing affordability and the quality of education in RI. She is the mother of two elementary school-aged children. READ MORE
View Larger +
Prev
Next
Sabina Matos
It is the rise of the Phoenix in Providence. On Monday, Sabina Matos won back the Presidency of the Providence City Council and returns to the top legislative position in the City of Providence.
As Providence goes so goes Rhode Island. Matos will be faced with taking on some of the most difficult issues in the state. READ MORE
View Larger +
Prev
Next
Jamie Bova
The Newport City Councilor At-Large lined up the votes to votes for Mayor after being elected to just her second term on the Newport City Council this past November.
Bova, an engineer who grew up in Middletown, attended URI, and moved to Newport in 2012, succeeds Harry Winthrop as the city faces major changes ahead for 2019, including the construction of a new hotel on Thames Street — and more hotel proposals in the pipeline — and READ MORE
View Larger +
Prev
Next
Jennifer Wood
The former private practice attorney turned top government aide turned non-profit director might have her biggest — and most public — battle on her hands in 2019.
RI Center for Justice Executive Director Jennifer Wood joined GoLocal News Editor on GoLocal LIVE where she spoke to the next steps after filing a federal class-action lawsuit in late November on behalf of all Rhode Island public school students to establish the right, under the U.S. Constitution, to an adequate education to prepare young people for full civic education.
READ MORE
View Larger +
Prev
Next
Catholic Church Sex Abuse Survivors
In 2018, Bishop Tobin with the Diocese of Providence landed on GoLocal's “18 to Watch” as the Catholic Church was — and continues to remain — at the center of lawsuits pertaining to the collapse of the St. Joseph pension fund.
He’ll remain squarely in the spotlight — and not for good — in 2019, when he has pledged to release a list of names of abusive priests “credibly accused” over the years in the Diocese, as pressure mounts nationally for how sexual abuse claims were handled around the country — READ MORE
View Larger +
Prev
Next
Matt Voskuil
One of Newport’s most iconic — and upscale — dining locations has a new look, a new chef — and people are taking note not just in Newport, but beyond.
Executive Chef and Director of Food and Beverage, Matt Voskuil at the newly opened Cara at the Chanler READ MORE
View Larger +
Prev
Next
David Torchiana
The most powerful person in healthcare in Rhode Island may soon be a man who rarely visits the state and few here know his name.
Dr. David Torchiana is the CEO of Partners HealthCare and he is poised to push through an acquisition of Rhode Island’s second largest hospital group, ending the local control over three of Rhode Island’s most important healthcare assets. And, the deal has the potential of putting in peril thousands of Rhode Island jobs through consolidation. READ MORE
View Larger +
Prev
Next
RI GOP Party Chair
Rhode Island Republican Party Chair Brandon Bell was defeated in his run for the General Assembly in 2018.
Republican Cranston Mayor Allan Fung lost in his second attempt at the Rhode Island Governor’s office, after a bruising primary that saw former opponent and House Minority Leader opt to endorse former Republican-turned-independent (and honorary chair for President Donald Trump’s campaign in Rhode Island) Joe Trillo. READ MORE
View Larger +
Prev
Next
Anthony Baro
Anthony Baro heads Newport-based PowerDocks — one of Rhode Island’s most interesting startups. It is a market-making green tech company that, in many ways, combines the best of Rhode Island.
The emerging maritime renewal energy company is having an impact in the U.S. and globally. READ MORE
View Larger +
Prev
Next
Blake Filippi
Blake Filippi is the new House Minority leader and is a fresh-faced leader for the GOP in Rhode Island. But, he faces a number of challenges. READ MORE
View Larger +
Prev
Next
Desmond Cambridge
Brown University sophomore basketball player Desmond Cambridge has been a human highlight film his first year and a half on College Hill. He won Ivy League Freshman of the Year and this year he is READ MORE
View Larger +
Prev
Next
Sarah Markey
South Kingstown School Board member Sarah Markey has been at the center of controversy since her election in November.
Markey, a top labor leader for the RI National Education Association, has drawn criticism by Democrats, Republicans and multiple municipal attorneys because READ MORE
View Larger +
Prev
Next
Peter Neronha
Peter Neronha, the new Attorney General, takes over for the controversial Peter Kilmartin. The former U.S. Attorney for Providence now faces a far busier assignment than his federal one. READ MORE
View Larger +
Prev
Next
Dylan Conley
Dylan Conley seems to be everywhere. Recently, GoLocal featured the attorney as one of Rhode Island's "Emerging Leaders."
He is the chairman of the Providence Board of Licenses and is in a hotbed READ MORE
View Larger +
Prev
Next
Mike McGovern
Chef Mike McGovern -- formerly the chef at Red Stripe -- is taking the helm at East Greenwich's Kai Bar -- and now 241 Main Sports Bar and Grill.
Kai Bar is a combination of small plates and big drinks, “Kai offers a rotating small plates menu from an award-winning Chef and Craft Cocktails READ MORE
View Larger +
Prev
Next
BIg Tourism Voids
Tourism is one of the most important sectors of the Rhode Island economy and two of the most important positions in the state are now vacant. READ MORE
Related Articles
Enjoy this post? Share it with others.