Bishop: Warm & Prickly Welcome for Americans in Guadeloupe – a Travelogue of the Occidental Tourist
Thursday, March 15, 2018
How to go
Long the province of Europeans and Quebecois, Guadeloupe is bracing for an onslaught of Rhode Islanders now that it is a destination of our international airport. And perhaps the only thing stupider than changing the name of the state is changing the name of that airport. Rhode Island International wouldn’t do it for Norwegian Air anyway, which instead labels TF Green, Providence/Boston. The airlines would surely just choose Boston South if we are in the name change business.
If this is all about marketing maybe with an even more competitive stance, instead of PVD we should dub the airport: PTL, i.e. Preferable To Logan. Too much of a good thing and it will be time for Westerly Airport to rise, but for now, the route to Guadeloupe from PVD is one that can’t be beaten. Why change the name when it has a reputation already for being a parochial aerodrome with cosmopolitan capability.
GET THE LATEST BREAKING NEWS HERE -- SIGN UP FOR GOLOCAL FREE DAILY EBLASTRather than save the conflict of interest warning for the end, let’s state up front that: Norwegian Air advertises their flights on GoLocalProv that publishes this semi-regular screed. Indeed, that is where I first found out about these flights and got the notion of decamping to Guadeloupe to escape March coming in like a lion (and when exactly does the lamb show up . . .). Despite my esteemed stature at this internet tabloid, no doubt a Rhode Island publication of record, I had to pay full fare, $89 bucks each way (paid as much more for the baggage since I hauled a kiteboarding bag but if you travel light it would only run you another $30 bucks) which has got to rival whatever you just gave our other great airlines Southwest or Jetblue for your winter getaway to Florida.
Aside from buying the seats for their airplanes from a school bus depot, Norwegian was a first-rate trip. One can understand from the statuesque blond flight crews why President Trump would welcome more immigrants from Norway. Albeit the creole and francophone trophies of Guadeloupe’s beaches would seem equally welcome, but they might have to wear tops on American beaches.
Speaking the language
Anyone intrigued by relatively inexpensive fares to the Caribbean with direct flights from TF Green (PVD) will quickly find there is one barrier to arranging a trip to the French Antilles, language. Everything from getting a rental car to negotiating with VRBO owners stretched my 2 years of French 45 years ago to the limit. But it was well worth the trouble (and the mental exercise may have pushing Alzheimer’s back an extra month or two for yours truly).
This is perhaps a source of disappointment among average Americans who visit Guadeloupe, that the vast majority of vacationers are from France with most of the balance being French speakers from Europe and Canada. So the 4% of Americans wandering about are linguistically marooned, which is to say Guadeloupe doesn’t take American expression.
It isn’t that there are zero English speakers, Jerome at the Orange Mobile store in Moule prided himself on speaking to us in English while we arranged for a cheap in-country SIM for our $50 Chinese GSM smartphone – the only thing to do when staying abroad. The GPS alone solves asking for directions in French – not that that’s a bad thing, but men, at least, like to pretend they know where they are going and GPS works perfectly there. If the names of some roads are lacking, it knows where they are nonetheless, and can find most businesses and virtually all points of interest by name, and routed us around traffic jams when necessary.
What the Traffic will bear
Yes, this an island that has an economy that goes on in spite of tourism as well as in league with it. While youth unemployment is an issue, it seemed that virtually everybody works, and not just in tourism and service. During the entire trip we saw not one hapless fellow with a sign saying “will work for food (but give me some money instead)”. It isn’t so much a matter of whether they do or don’t have an ACLU around to protect the right to beg, they just seem too busy to beg. So, for all the language barrier you might encounter, one thing you won’t, in our experience, is the constant harangue of hands out that seems to attend other Caribbean locales with much greater frequency.
I can’t begrudge those I recall from other islands whom the economy has left behind the option to beseech the ugly (except for their wallet) American for some daily ‘bread’. But the ubiquity of that phenomenon does affect visitors’ experience and what could be a broader positive engagement of the whole country they visit rather than spending the week ‘holed up’ in a resort to avoid such bother. We learned quickly enough in Jamaica how to ward off squeegee men by acting the part of countrymen and not tourists (although I gave in after one fellow we brushed off drew a heart in the washing fluid with which he had lathered our window unbeckoned). It isn’t one’s right to be free of the cares of the world on vacation but it isn’t wrong to seek that either - as any one tourist can only improve a lot of so many folks anyway, and it feels so much better to do it through barter and business than through harangue.
More than trinkets abound
The quintessential example was Charlie, a rasta friend with a table of necklaces and bracelets he had made from native seeds who we met at the Pointe des Chateux in St Francois (a bit like the Little Compton of the island, this rocky outermost point is interspersed with sand beach as it thrusts into the Atlantic pointing the way to out island snorkeling destinations of Terre de Haut). Epitomizing the rasta reputation for individual pursuits rather than traditional labor, he was a picture of politeness, a font of knowledge on island flora, and the furthest thing from pushy – a massive contrast to the Jamaican approach to sales and one surely designed to see my wife go home with one of his necklaces of Graine L’Eglise and Larme de Job.
But tourism and trinkets hardly defines the entire economy that keeps so many creoles and expats working. Guadeloupe provides 70% of the bananas consumed in France, that crop having just supplanted the traditional sugar cane crop as the biggest agricultural export. But there is good value-added work as well with on-island sugar refineries and rum distilleries. As you would expect, there is a strong fishery with exports of small fish and meal while the prize take is consumed by islanders and tourists. Marlin, Tuna, Vivaneau (Red Snapper) and Dorade (Mahi Mahi) are the main attractions (as if more were needed). Availability can depend on the weather as the catch comes almost straight to the plate and if boats are kept in port by high seas then menus will contract.
Where to Eat
Resto des Artistes in the Marina in Saint Francois has an English menu, although you’ll still need to have your pigeon French ready to get interpretations even of that. But it is well worth the trouble. The exchange rate didn’t help us (1.30 dollars/euro) but the Dorado on the grill was an 18 Euro special one night and the Tuna Tar Tar (which they were willing to buck convention and lightly grill for me rather than serve raw) was out of this world. And to top it off, a draft was 2.50, cheapest we found. Reservations a must or you end up sitting by the restrooms. It may look empty at 7 when you go for dinner and you wonder why you’re getting stuck in the corner. European tastes for a late dinner abound and while you are having the excellent Crème Brulee for dessert, the place will fill.
Similarly, fine sunsets can be taken in at the Southwest Corner of Basse Terre at the location of le phare (the lighthouse) in Vieux Forte to the west of Trois Rivieres, while satiety can be simultaneously attended at the adjacent eponymous restaurant where the Galettes are designed not to break the bank and beer is on draft in glasses approaching the German standard of ein masse. With the sun setting and a view past the closer isle of Terre de Haute (not to be confused with the other Terre de Haut off Saint Francois) to Dominica, the first of the Windward isles some 25 miles to the south, one cannot better encompass the setting.
What to do
And finding a way to spend the day before the blessed sunset at this outlook is easy enough with nearby access to strenuous trails through the rainforests on the slopes of La Soufriere, the active volcano, and eventually through the arid and cooler climes of its highest reaches. Only one day in six is clear. Watch for still winds that halt the pump carrying ocean moisture up the slopes where it condenses into a semi-permanent cloud. "And nearer the shore one can book a ride at perhaps the most picturesque English riding stable in the occident, Les Écuries De La Coulisse.” Overlooking the junction of the Atlantic and the Caribbean south of Basse Terre, the straits between the stable and outlying Isle of Marie Galland was such a strategic narrows that the bottom is littered with the wrecks of some 300 ships that plied the Caribbean in search of commerce and empire. Simply coming down the west side of Basse Terre between Deshaies and Vieux Forte is a day in itself. Snorkeling is available at the Cousteau Reserve at Malendeur but simply save ample time to stop at to take in the overlooks from this mountainous coast onto the Caribbean Sea.
Remains, of course, the necessity to save a day for the western coast of Grand Terre as well, ironically the flatter of the two islands that make up the main bulk of Guadeloupe's territory it is known as “Grand” for the wind that flows across its less lofty farm fields. Together the two islands boast some 600 square miles making Guadeloupe about half the size of Rhode Island, albeit it spreads out in distance so far as to approximate the distance between Woonsocket and Westerly. Not for lack of good roads – best we’ve seen in the Caribbean -- but for the twists and turns on along volcanic hips, the trip from one end of the island to another can take two and half hours. With gas running about $6 a gallon you have to be glad that the rental cars are all midgets that get great mileage, but practice your clutch work before you go. We didn’t see one automatic transmission on the island. And boy could you smell the clutches on the approach to Bain Jaunes, the trailhead for la Soufriere.
But the west side of Grand Terre is hardly so mountainous, hilly perhaps but starting at sea level by ‘the lagoon’ whose mangroves stretch for miles in a large “v” between Basse Terre and Grand Terre. Various outfits out of Vieux Bourg launch kayak expeditions into these environs. As with the nearshore snorkeling from the main islands, it’s more an excuse to be active than an actual vehicle for serious wildlife sightings, although, on the right days, large species as varied as sea turtles and barracuda can be seen in this lagoon. With turtles, it’s a time of year issue, and you will find them in seagrass near the main islands; but for the best snorkeling and diving, you have to take excursions to deep water or to out islands.
Proudly laying claim to being one of the few kayaks that didn’t tip over on a stormy morning that brought surf into the normally still lagoon, we laid up our paddles and back to the rental car to continue up the west coast of Grand Terre through Port Louis and Anse Betrand to the bluff of the Pointe de la Vigie, literally “the big watch”. No doubt the watch was for ships making landfall from across the ocean, but 3 masted barks are far and few between these days. Still, these northern cliffs offer stunning views of Guadeloupe, over the agricultural land to the east and the mountains to the west. And more importantly, the parking lot will surely have creole women offering hand cranked coconut glace . . . ice cream . . . that one should not go a day without while on the island.
Where to stay
If only we had more than a week, we might have had even more to report, but can certainly say that one should watch out for the language and the prickly sea life but one should go to Guadeloupe! And despite putting some 750 kilometers on our rental car, we didn’t actually sleep in it. Accommodations are plentiful and affordable. There are a few resorts, but there are houses available in various beachside communities and middle-class vacation spots that aren’t Club Med such as Anse des Rochers where we stayed for the princely sum of $43 a night. Kinda gives Tom Bodett a run for his money. And to sneak another food note (you start to see a pattern here) we were ‘plagued’ each morning by the local Boulangerie that set up to sell baguettes and croissants cheaper than you could buy them in the market and fresh to your doorstep. And each evening the ‘chicken truck’ would roll in with Rotisserie Chicken, an inexpensive island staple.
For those who prefer the calm of the Caribbean side, digs await on the western slopes of Basse-Terre where you will need a little more insect repellant in the evening as the wind does not blow but the seas are placid and clear. And it is readily possible to find a pied-a-terre in Deshaie near the Grand Anse and virtually every other of dozens of beach towns around Guadeloupe. While we were quintessentially Americans and drove everywhere, it is just as easily possible to pick a spot and not get in a car for a week. Just stay where you are and enjoy weather, scenery, sunsets and some of the best food the Caribbean has to offer.
In its entirety, the rocky shores of Guadeloupe are punctuated by beautiful sandy beaches more regularly than we found on other volcanic isles including the gorgeous St. Lucia to the south. Care is in order, not only for rocky bottom but especially on the south coast between the airport and Saint Francois for “ces oursins”. No that isn’t a French confession for Catholics, but Sea Urchins covered with stinging spins. (While I just collected a few glancing stings during kite launches and landings, islanders actually collect the urchins themselves as yet another bounteous offering of manger de la mer). So this, as well as the lack of English, might be considered the prickly part of the adventure. But in return, you have a vacation worth remembering that won’t set you back as much as you might expect for a visit to such an exotic locale.
Brian Bishop is on the board of OSTPA and has spent 20 years of activism protecting property rights, fighting over regulation and perverse incentives in tax policy.
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