MUSIC: The Church Of Providence Brings The Crazy At Fete

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Rob Duguay, GoLocalProv Music Critic

Just when you've seen it all, a show comes along that makes you realize that you haven't seen much of anything. With a wrestling ring right in the middle of the ballroom, a rap battle and awesome hip-hop performances, The Church Of Providence got all kinds of holy at Fete on Thursday. You had B. Dolan MC'ng, Sage Francis hosting a rap battle, Born Casual DJ'ng the whole thing, and all sorts of madness in store. Have you ever seen anything like this? No you haven't. If weren't at Fete on Thursday, you weren't anywhere.

B. Dolan

B. Dolan got on stage to start things off to introduce the wrestling match between Nicholas Knight and Keanu The Samoan Destroyer and all I could say about the match was this, the ref had a slow count going against Knight which was fairly obvious. It was most likely intended to be so, but Keanu pinned Knight after a Samoan Drop and then Knight complained about it afterwards when Madge Of Honor talked to him about it in the ring. I know it's scripted but if you knew that ahead of time, why not take your loss like a man? This night was about to get even more entertaining.

Katya

Katya got on stage and got all kinds of freaky, she was lip singing all of the music but I'm sure she was doing it on purpose. She had a radiant outfit and had the crowd going wild, definitely had some yells. It was provocative nasty hip- hop and it got the craziness up to another level. Yea, it's one of those nights that you had no idea of what to expect.

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B. Dolan went back on stage and they got back to the wrestling, this time between Roger Williams and Chris Matrix with Olneyville Sound System playing the background music to the match. Keep in mind, this whole time I was saying to myself, "Ok, so I'm at a music venue. There's wrestling going on on the ballroom and O.S.S. is playing along to it. This is nuts, ridiculous and awesome at the same time." It totally was, Chris ended up winning and O.S.S. finished up "On The Fritz". 

Sage Francis + Semi-Naked Belly Dancing

I took a moment to go outside and get a breath of fresh air and right when I walk right in Madge Of Honor is belly dancing to nothing but pasties and a pubic beard. Yep, that's what happened. Sage Francis then went in to host the rap battle in the ring. Chris Matrix and the referee started spitting, then Shane Hall schooled everyone. Then the ref got kicked out of the ring and Matrix tried rapping, but he sucked. Hall owned it, Matrix whined about it and that was all she wrote.

B. Dolan and Sage were in the stage together just for B. Dolan to call the ref out on being horrible. Then another ref went on stage and challenged him to a match, but Curly Q. Howard went to the ring to challenge the horrible ref. After a while of the throwing, suplexing and the bending of ropes, Curly won by putting a toilet paper covered plunger in the ref's mouth. If missing out on that that makes you upset, then you should have gone to Fete.

Juan Deuce & Falside

B. Dolan got the crowd riled up, then my favorite rap duo in Providence, Juan Deuce & Falside, came up and got everybody live. An electrifying and intense performance that consisted of "Larry Sellers", "Freeze", "Put Me Up", "Man On Fire", "Lakes", "Frank and Dean", "Hard Luck" , "Hey DJ" and "Guts" was the perfect way to end a night of pure chaos. I've said this many times, but if you ever feel the need to see real hip-hop I highly suggest you go see Juan Deuce & Falside whenever they come to your neighborhood. The Church Of Providence is also going to be a monthly event at Fete, go on fetemusic.com to see what's in store for the next crazy party B. Dolan is putting together.

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