Carol Anne Costa: The Ugly Truth

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Carol Ann Costa GoLocalProv MINDSETTER

 

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As I constantly seek inspiration from the topics of the day and week on which to opine, this week provided a plethora of political ponderings revolving around the revving sounds of the 2016 Presidential race, as the Scooby Van peeled out towards Iowa, “screech”!  And, as Rand, Rodman, and Rubio tossed their hats into the Prez fray bringing all sorts of fun stuff to kick around it was a political junkie’s dream right? Not so fast, as I was literally stopped in my tracks by a local story with huge and stunning implications, indeed a Rhode Island horror show.  Contemplate some of the headlines, never mind, delving into the first paragraph or sound bite which made me so uncomfortable it is still indescribable.  

WPRI TV: Two preteen girls charged with felony assault, kidnapping;

PATCH:  Two Barrington Girls, 12, Arrested for Beating and Forcing Teen to Strip, Eat Butter;

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Projo:  Two 12-year-old Barrington girls charged with felony assault, kidnapping of 15-year-old;

Drink that in and ask yourself if you are as totally horrified, as I remain. When I heard the radio newsman deliver this top story on my way to work, I felt physically sick at the suggestion that this happened at all, much less in it happened in our state.  A friend shared the post on my Facebook page with the lead in, “no words."  I concur. But, this begs the questions; is this type of ganging up, bullying and criminal violence “the new normal”; is anti bullying education enough;  is it time to label the bullying events exactly what they are… criminal;  how do we engage parents  and guardians to face this most  troubling example of  truly deviant, criminal behavior?  Make no mistake, I don’t find these acts to be bullying, or misunderstood childhood acts, I find them criminal. These are questions we must all ask and seek answers, as our children are fighting unseen battles, which left unchecked will bring uncertain, and often times time tragic results. How many times must we read the autopsy of either a horrid crime or a kid who claims to have been bullied before we act in unison bearing more than outrage?  This is a public health and safety issue, which will take political will, parental leadership and raw nerve to address.

The Ugly Truth

In violence we forget who we are.” said, author and political activist, Mary McCarthy. If Mary’s premise rings true, our individual and collective amnesia seems to be spreading like wildfire. The release of Rhode Island Kids Count report reveals warning signs for teen violence and early entry into the juvenile justice system including certain risk factors; “Risk factors for juvenile delinquency and involvement in the juvenile justice system include association with other delinquent youth, cognitive impairments, academic and learning difficulties, poor parenting, child maltreatment, and high levels of community disorganization and violence. “ These findings cannot be ignored or cast aside as a product primarily of the urban core. We know they exist in every city and town in Rhode Island, as they are not, as many believe merely problems of our inner cities. Frankly, whether enacted by girls or boys, they are abhorrent, repulsive and demand a communal reaction, to parent, punish, and rehabilitate the growing number of offenders or perhaps instead, their parents and guardians.  

What is the Politics?

When Americans, Rhode Islanders and citizens of local municipalities cede their voices, they are complicit in the result.  When you can make the soccer game, and not the school committee meeting, when you can get to football practice and not the Town Council meeting, please realize the decisions are called by others. And, much like an appeal on the field they are rarely overturned. Here’s the rub, I am not one to cast blame and aspersions on towns and cities that have become part of this story. This could have happened anywhere and the default to lobbing the “affluent community” grenades serves no purpose. Until we embrace every child as our own and make the commitment to collectively parent, in Barrington, Scituate and Central Falls, I see doom. By the way, I do not have children but, will watch out for yours at every turn and guard them like a mother bear, as we all should.

This story must push us out of our silos and shake us into the reality that we are all in this together. Never, ever should sending your child to a sleepover result in this tragic end. Wake up! Parent and get involved!

Gary Hamel of Harvard Business review published a compelling article  expanding and interpreting a Francis I Encyclical into everyday practicality. In “The 15 Diseases of Leadership” Francis I and Hamel give advice that is doable and plain. I urge a read. Only take the word “leader” and substitute the word “parent”, perhaps headway can be realized.

This is a shocking story and any other reaction is, in my view dangerous.  

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Carol Costa is a public relations and community outreach specialist; she has experience in both the public and private sectors. She is the Chairwoman of the Scituate Democratic Town Committee and has extensive community affairs and public relations experience. She previously served in the Rhode Island Judiciary for nearly 17 years. Carol also enjoyed a successful development stint at the Diocese of Providence as Associate Director for Catholic Education and is currently the Executive Director of the Warren Housing Authority. Her work has been published in several local outlets including GoLocal, Valley Breeze, The Rhode Island Catholic, and Currents Magazine.

 

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