How to Build Success by Creating Resilience in Students

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

By Mark McLaughlin, Associate Head of School at The Providence Country Day School

 

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Patriots Coach Bill Belichick

The Upside of Falling Down - How to Build Success by Building Resilience in Students

We know it and admire it when we see it—the resilience of those who press on despite setbacks, disappointments, or long odds.  We see it in success of all kinds—social, academic, political, athletic, professional, etc.—individuals who achieve their goals after failing, after having ‘reset’ and refocused their efforts on the next challenge.  

Successful athletes are well-known for their ability to turn the page in the heat of competition, and coaches like Bill Belichick are able to ingrain in their teams a ‘next play - next game’ persistence that lets negative outcomes go and redirects energy on new objectives.  History is rife with examples: Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper because "he lacked imagination and had no good ideas;” Albert Einstein did not speak until he was four, did not read until he was seven, was expelled from school, and was refused admission to Zurich Polytechnic School; Thomas Edison invented 1,000 failures before the light bulb; Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.  Examples of this kind of personal hardiness seem to be the norm rather than the exception; success is clearly a messy endeavor.  Why, then, is there so much pressure to achieve instant success, rather than emphasis on dealing with and learning from failure?

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Resilency

The idea of resiliency in the form of character is something that is ‘in the zeitgeist,’ according to filmmaker Tiffany Schlein, whose Character Day documentary series focuses on the science of character. The thrust of the films’ message is that qualities, like grit and determination, though more evident and emergent in some people than others, can be acquired by everyone.   Drawing on the research of neuroscientists like Marty Seligman, Christopher Peterson, and Carol Dweck, the series advances the idea that character strengths, instead of being fixed, can be developed over time.  This kind of self-improvement is particularly meaningful for our children, though adults, too, through commitment and reflection, can also accomplish significant personal growth.

Character development is inherent in education, and small schools in particular are uniquely positioned to develop the whole child through participation and engagement in broad and meaningful experiences.  The key is to provide a safety net in which students can try something new without fear of failure.  The point is not to prevent failure, but to prevent quitting as a by-product of failure, and equip students with the tools to get up and grow after falling down.  The primary outcome of trying something new should not be success, but resilience. 

Character 

Lessons in character, effort, resilience and personal responsibility can come in many forms, and parents are well advised to understand the value of failure as a means to success.  There is something to be said for getting something right the first time—an instant gratification that spawns enjoyment and confidence.  But when success comes on the heels of failure and is the result of redoubled effort, both the enjoyment and confidence are likely to be deeper and longer lasting.   Additionally, the lessons learned will also be long lasting and

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become the building blocks for hard work and persistence.  The best schools provide avenues in and out of the classroom for personal growth.  They are safe places, both physically and emotionally, where learning is allowed to occur through the taking of appropriate risks and the opportunity to make ‘good mistakes.’

University of California Berkeley professor Martin Covington links fear of failure to one’s sense of self-worth and explains how students will go to great measure to avoid failure and perpetuate the perception of personal value.  Vicki Zakrzewski, Ph.D., is the education director of the Greater Good Science Center, and suggests three approaches to countering that unproductive tendency.  By placing a greater value on effort over ability, parents and teachers can instill in children, an appreciation for hard work and the resilience that invariably accompanies future success.  It is important that students not be instructed to ‘try harder’ when they have failed, since much effort may have been expended in the first place.  Rather we should help them see that trying again, in a different way, may yield a different result.  Zakrzewski also urges students to practice self-compassion when they fail.  Students who do not beat themselves up when they encounter difficulty are more likely to try again without fear of failure.  Finally, it has been shown that students, who have strong relationships with their teachers and feel that their teachers genuinely care about them, are more likely to try their hardest, and trust their teachers when instructed to try again.

Regardless of Environment or Challenge

Whether through the arts or athletics, through meaningful service activities and extra-curriculars, or through small advisory groups, schools that foster a strong work ethic and a willingness to engage on many levels outside the classroom, are able to teach sound decision-making skills that will fortify students for the world they will experience as adults.  The schools that do this most successfully balance an age-appropriate degree of challenge with support.  Rigor and discipline are critical elements in this process but are not ends in themselves.  Students are best served when they see their teachers as their advocates, who balance their desire to stretch each student and hold him/her accountable, with plenty of “you can do it” encouragement.

Growing up, and the education that supports that process is, above all else, a human enterprise. Things don’t always proceed in a straight line, particularly with young people, where peaks and valleys, emotional and otherwise, are often the norm—as was the case for all of us when we were wearing the shoes our children now wear. One of the most important things—if not the most important—we can do for our children is to help them develop their personal confidence and motivation.  We want them to be able to be self-aware learners who can navigate the world and self advocate with assurance.   We do this not by handing them a series of vacant successes, but by providing ample opportunities to step into the deep end, with lifeguards at the ready, to learn first how to stay afloat, and then how to swim the length of the pool.  We do this by providing challenge and support in equal measure so the process yields resilience first; then success. Learn more at www.providencecountryday.org.

This content series is a partnership between The Providence Country Day School and GoLocal.

 

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