You make the call, Vince

You make the call, Vince

I’d love to spend five minutes in Vince Wilfork’s shoes, not because I’d like to walk into Best Buy with half of his signing bonus stuffed in my back pocket, but because I’d love to live in a world where I can sit on the fence everyday and criticize those who have the balls to put their neck on the line.

Just when I thought this year’s New England Patriots were somewhat of a humble, likeable group of underdogs, Wilfork dug up the tired “us against them” refrain in reference to the local media, many of whom had the audacity to suggest Miami would win Monday’s game on its own turf against a team that hadn’t won a significant road game in two years.

Wilfork was one of several players pissed off because the entire staff of the team’s in-house publication, “Patriots Football Weekly,” picked Miami. Among the group of prognosticators is ESPNBoston.com’s Mike Reiss, Shalise Manza-Young of the Boston Globe, and the fictitious Flip LeChance, a penny, which means Wilfork actually aimed some of his venom at an inanimate object more commonly used as a form of currency.

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The veteran nose tackle refused to address the media following New England’s 41-14 win over the Dolphins, instead barking, “Y’all have all the answers,” as he stormed away from his locker. Tuesday morning on WEEI, Wilfork elaborated.

“It's kind of hard to come to work in your own back yard and have your beat writers for your own team that see you every day, and have every last one of them go against you,” Wilfork said. “They have a job to do. I understand that. At the same token, you wonder why (players) act that way they act sometimes with them, because of stuff like that. So, you know what? Last night, like I told them, 'You guys have all the answers.’ We're going to keep doing what we do.”

When all else fails, a team can always unite in its general disdain for the media and create the illusion of tension and controversy where it doesn’t exist. I thought after winning three Super Bowls in four years and capturing the hearts and imaginations of everyone from fans to reporters alike, the Patriots were beyond this childish nonsense. Then again, I also thought the Dolphins would win Monday night, so what do I know?

The only thing worse than a professional athlete’s lack of perspective at times is his frequent lack of memory. Wilfork apparently had his radio turned off in Week 2 when Patriot Nation broke out the face paint and pom-poms in preparation of the Jets’ game. According to the on-air “talent,” Mark Sanchez was supposed to throw five interceptions because he sucks, and Bill Belichick was going to coach circles around Rex Ryan, who was derisively labeled as a loudmouth baboon with a clipboard. And let’s not forget how everyone in this town still suckles from Belichick’s teat despite the fact the Patriots haven’t won a Super Bowl in six years or had a decent draft in the last four.

We’re not all as negative as Wilfork would like you to believe. Around here, we swab rumps and wash balls like it’s our jobs. For every local media personality who thinks the Patriots are in danger of not making the playoffs, there are at least three who still think this team can do no wrong despite what recent history suggests.

Wilfork’s first problem is he incorrectly associates picking the other team as “going against” the Patriots, which is false. Who we think will win might differ from who we want to win. With the exception of our friend Flip, the reporters asked to make predictions in “PFW” do so after carefully studying statistics, trends and other relevant factors. Why is that so offensive? As Wilfork said Tuesday, that’s our job. If you want us to pick you every week, then try winning more than one road game per century, or prove to us this defense is capable of holding an opponent to fewer than 300 yards. Do something to earn the blind loyalty you so desperately crave.

Not once will you hear an athlete pull a member of the media aside and say, “Thanks for picking us last week,” because they honestly believe every reporter should throw objectivity out the window, as if they were no different than the fan with season tickets in Section 109. The reality is being on the team’s payroll or working for the hometown paper doesn’t mean you’re supposed to piss out every last ounce of credibility. A reporter’s first responsibility is to be fair and balanced, and there were plenty of reasons to pick the Dolphins on Monday, starting with the fact the Patriots had won just two road games in their last 10 tries. The funny thing is if we blindly picked the Patriots every week, we’d be disrespecting the other 13 teams on the schedule, but apparently that’s perfectly acceptable as long as we’re not hurting anyone’s feelings in Foxboro.

Similar to the way a long snapper only gets mentioned when he screws up, players don’t care what the media thinks until they’re dead wrong on one of their predictions. They claim they don’t read the papers or watch the news, yet they’re the first ones to start barking at reporters after they prove everyone wrong – not before the game, mind you, but after the game, because saying something before the game would actually require them to stand out on a limb the way reporters do on a daily basis. Wilfork is like the coward in the schoolyard who waits until there are six kids in front of him before he runs his mouth, and then claims you’re lucky everyone is holding him back.

Athletes have the luxury of hiding behind clichés. We don’t. When asked to make a prediction on a game, athletes avoid it all costs. No one does this better than the Patriots, who build every opponent into the second coming of the ’72 Dolphins and then have the nerve to get pissed off at us when we pick them to lose. What do you expect? You tell us how “explosive” every team is, so if we take everything you say at face value, then we have no choice but to assume you’re going to get your ass kicked.

The bottom line is if all athletes were as confident as they claim to be in the aftermath of a big win, then they would say so before the game, and if they really think predicting a win beforehand will somehow motivate the opponent more than it already is, then they’re as paranoid as they are uncertain in their own ability. Anyone can thump their chest after the fact; it takes Joe Namath-sized balls to guarantee victory before you take the field.

If I worked for “PFW” (wink, wink), I’d invite Wilfork to join my panel of experts. Since you’re so much smarter than us, you should pick who’ll win each game and run the risk of ruffling a few feathers with your predictions the way we do on a weekly basis. You get paid a hell of a lot more than we do, so you should stick your neck on the line for a change and give us a break.

Actually, don’t say anything at all. Just stay on the fence since you’re already above us.