Joseph Paolino, Jr: Words of Remembrance

Monday, February 08, 2016

The Honorable Joseph R. Paolino, Jr

Buddy Cianci, photos courtesy of Richard McCaffrey

I am honored to offer words of remembrance as we join to commemorate and celebrate the life of Mayor Vincent A. Cianci, Jr. I would like to thank Bishop Tobin and the Roman Catholic Diocese of Providence, Mayor Elorza, his staff, the Public Safety Departments of Providence, and the legions who came forward to participate and pay their respects to Buddy over the course of the past week, and today.

A year after leaving the White House, Teddy Roosevelt said the following:

"It is not the critic who counts; nor the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place in history shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

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Buddy was in the arena his entire life. As a Lieutenant in the U. S. Army, as a prosecutor for the Attorney General's Department, as Providence's longest serving Mayor and as a top-rated radio talk show host and television commentator. For 21 years he devoted his life to what he believed was the most worthy cause: propelling Providence to prominence. He did so often at the expense of his family, his relationships and his own health. Right from the start, everyone embraced him as their Buddy.

I have to admit - for a long time - I wasn't one of them.

We had a complicated history. In the early days, we were not friends. We didn't even like one another. We were opponents. We were rivals. And we relished it. Just as Buddy relished telling everyone that we were on a last name basis.

It's interesting how time heals old wounds and maturity leads to understanding what is important in life. In more recent years, Buddy and I realized that we shared a passion for the City of Providence in a unique way. There were many projects that he started as Mayor that I completed. Just as there were projects that I started and he completed. Most important of all, we shared a tremendous love for this great City and a vision of putting it on the road to fulfilling its potential.

When I left the Mayor's office to head the State's Department of Economic Development, Buddy, Governor Sundlun and I worked on bringing the Providence Place mall to fruition and traveled to Seattle together to attract Nordstrom as a prime anchor. Years later, Buddy went to Italy and visited former Boston Mayor Ray Flynn who was Ambassador to the Vatican. At that time I was Ambassador to Malta and Buddy also came to visit . We had a late night of wine, song and cigars. Justice Anton Scalia was with us. Our animosity was beginning to dissipate. As our friendship evolved, Buddy would sometimes talk about how he extended an olive branch by coming to visit me in Malta. I would kid him by saying he was just being nosy, to see what kind of house I was living in.

From then on, we were on a first name basis.

In 2002, when Buddy went away, mutual friends asked me to write to him. My question was simple: "What will I say? How is life at Fort Dix?" And they said, "Just keep him up to speed on current events and political gossip. Because coming from you, it will mean more because it will be unexpected." I thought that was good advice. And I took it.

It wasn't long before he asked me to visit him. My first visit went for seven hours but felt like 20 minutes. Buddy and I talked about family, Nicole, his grandchildren, his faith, and about common friends and foes. And of course we talked a lot about Providence. When I got to my car I just sat and reflected on the visit. I thought to myself, "This guy doesn't belong here. He has so much talent and it's being wasted."

There's a story that I need to tell that's classic Buddy. It happened in 2007, just months after his return. We had a meeting with Jane Rosenthal, who heads up Tribeca Film, with Robert DeNiro. The meeting was at her home in the Hamptons to discuss making a movie about Buddy. We took advantage of the terrific weather and arrived by boat. We were supposed to meet with Jane for a half hour. Our meeting lasted over two hours.

When we left Jane, she told us she was on her way to Matt Lauer's summer home to attend his annual summer bash. Buddy magically whipped out a jar of his marinara sauce and asked her to give it to Matt, whose career began in Providence. A few hours later my phone rang. It was Jane, saying that Matt wanted to talk to Buddy. Matt said he had 140 people in his backyard and he wanted to make it 142.

Matt hugged and doted on Buddy all night. Meredith Vieira hugged and kissed Buddy and reminded him that he went to Moses Brown with her brother. We then bumped into Jon Bon Jovi and Buddy reminded him that he presented him with a Key to the City when he performed at Waterplace Park years earlier. And then we bumped into Bryant Gumbel and Buddy reminded him that he spoke at the Providence College commencement when he was awarded an honorary degree. Then we see New York City Mayor, Mike Bloomberg, who was there with his girlfriend who's about a foot taller than he is. When I mentioned this to Buddy he immediately shot back with, typical Buddyism - "I don't think she cares that he's short." Then Regis Philbin spotted Buddy and reminded Him how nice he was to his daughter when she went to Brown, and they talked about their dinner together at Al Forno.

We went back to the boat and smoked a cigar, agreeing it was an amazing night. Buddy was truly surprised and humbled by how he was received. The following morning, while having coffee on the aft deck, I noticed that Buddy was just staring out over the water, reflecting. After a while he said to me, "Did last night really happen?" I said, "Yes, and people still love you."

Buddy could be likened to many historical greats:
He had the charm and charisma of John F. Kennedy.
He shared Teddy Roosevelt's love of the spotlight.
Like Mohammed Ali, Buddy always bounced back after a defeat. And similar to Frank Sinatra, Buddy had to do it HIS way.

If there is just one inspiration to be drawn from Buddy Cianci, the Mayor and the man, it is this, Every time Buddy suffered tragedy, trials, tribulations, or tears, he got back up. He had the tenacity to go against the establishment when it was necessary to do so. He wanted to define himself. And he defied and surmounted any challenges that stood in his way of creating a renaissance in Providence.

He was confident in the knowledge that he was supported and encouraged by so many and, most of all, his family.

Carol. You have forever been a constant in Buddy's life. You have always been there for him, as a sister and as his dearest friend. And you have the same elegance and loyalty of your mother, Esther. And John Turchetta. You were the brother he never had.

Olivia, your grandfather was so proud of you. He beamed when he told me that you were continuing in the family tradition of medicine, Your great-grandfather was a doctor and your two cousins Jay and Brad are doctors and now you are studying to be a nurse. And the way that you have taken care of your two younger brothers in their young lives prove that care-taking is your true calling.

Joey your grandfather was delighted that you were in college and wanting to pursue a career in real estate. I have a feeling I know where you will be interning this summer.

And Buddy totally adored his youngest grandson, Julius. He so much love it when you came on the boat and he would take you alone through NEWPORT Harbour on the mini speed boat ,bouncing on the waves and talking about the history of the city by the sea.

Nicole. What can we say about a life lost so young. I can tell you that she NEVER left Buddy's heart, While Buddy was away , he and his daughter Nicole bonded as never before. Through letters flying back and forth and constant visits they became one another's champions, and best friends.

Buddy softened during those years. He used that time to get deeper and more fully in touch with his faith. He was proud of growing up as a Roman Catholic and passionate about proclaiming his strong pro-life stance.

Speaking of close bonds. The most important one was with his family. Buddy's favorite time of the year was Christmas and he always made it a priority to have a big family gathering. It was also when he got to spend time with his three nephews, Jay, Todd, and Brad and his two nieces, Tamara and Holly, who he felt so close to - they were more than just nieces and nephews to him.

So it was fitting that Buddy proposed to Tara on Christmas Day, and that she said yes.

I was with Buddy when he first met Tara during the spring of 2014 and he said to me when we left, "You go over there and get her number for me." I told him, I'm not getting it...you go get the number yourself." A few days later he called me, all excited. He had arranged a date with the woman who would go on to be the light of his life. He had finally found someone he felt he could spend the rest of his days with. Tara, I'm sorry your time together was cut short.

For close to 15 years, like many of you, I was with Buddy through many of his life-changing experiences, good and bad. I was with him when he broke down over Nicole's death and experienced the worst nightmare of all, a parent burying a child. I was there when the doctors told him he had cancer. I witnessed firsthand his tears, his fears, and his triumphs. This was the private side of my friend Buddy.

For all of you who had the good fortune of working with Buddy at City Hall, WPRO, WLNE TV or elsewhere, Buddy always hoped that you felt empowered and capable of exceeding your own expectations. He was so proud of all that you achieved together and would be so pleased to know that you are still working for him today. Thank you for all your help this past week.

For all the citizens of Providence, he was humbled by the fact that you elected him to lead this city for 21 years.

When Buddy came back in 1990, his campaign slogan was "He Never Stopped Caring About Providence." Buddy. We hope that you are looking down today with pride, knowing that we, Providence, will never stop caring about you. Rest in peace my friend.

Joseph Paolino, Jr: Words of Remembrance

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