Fit for Life: Kobe. From Bad to Worse

Saturday, February 01, 2020

Matt Espeut, GoLocalProv Health +Lifestyle Contributor

 

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Kobe Bryant dies in helicopter crash. PHOTO: Alexandra Walt/Flickr Commons

When I heard the news of the Kobe tragedy, it stunned me. 

Then it saddened me, more than other instances when a celebrity or someone I don’t know passes. 

Yes, I always feel bad for loss of life, but when it doesn’t directly affect you, it’s easier to move on and not think about it as much.

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This was different. 

Maybe because I just lost my younger brother less than a month ago, and emotions in my head are still running strong. 

I’m not sure, but the news about Kobe really sickened me, and is hanging around in my daily thoughts.

Not because basketball lost a legend, because I could care less about professional basketball, and barely saw him play.  

I look up to him because of his leadership, his mindset and how driven he was to succeed as a parent, as a husband, as a cleaner and a positive influence. 

I spoke with his trainer Tim Grover at a conference and he was telling me how guys like Kobe and MJ were great because of their mindset and work ethic, and that’s something more admirable than superstar status. 

It’s more the wake of devastation he left behind that I keep thinking about. The people who are left to suffer.

I know the guy was one of the best to ever hit the courts, but he was so much more to so many other people besides basketball and sports fans.

He was a father, a husband, a son, a brother, and a friend to many people, and regardless of his status, this will affect all those people so much more than you or I. 

The loss of a loved one is a permanent pain that will never go away. 

In time, it will get easier to cope, and if you channel your thought process to the positive attributes of their lives, and reminisce about the good times, it dulls sad emotions, but they never go away.

I heard the news, but still went home the day after and turned on ESPN to catch some updates and hear the story of how it happened. 

That’s when things got worse.

After talking about Kobe and his daughter, the news paid tribute to the others that were killed in the crash, and suddenly Kobe didn’t stand out to me as an icon, but a person that perished before his time. 

When they flashed the picture of everyone involved, Kobe became 1 of 9 people that died. 

It was equally devastating seeing the families on that screen as it was seeing Kobe and his daughter. 

I am not sure of all the details, but several people in the pictures shared the same last names, so I assume they were related.

That means that there are at least 3 families suffering from this tragedy, and I feel just as bad for them and their families as I do Kobe, and his. 

There are also lessons to be learned from all this and everything that’s going on around this event. 

We will always learn more from tragedy, errors, and mistakes than when we experience good times, so here’s a few I got from this particular instance.

In an interview with Shaq, he spoke of “stupid people” bringing up the differences or bad blood between him and Kobe. 

He replied, “Yea, we had our differences, but he was like a little brother to me, and we always fight with our siblings, yet never want anything bad to happen to them. At the end of the day, I loved the guy”.  

That hit home with me, because I keep thinking about the turbulent and frustrating relationship I had with my brother, and after looking back this past month, I know deep in my heart I was always trying to help him get better, and I also know that he knew it too. 

The lesson is that despite the differences we may have with our friends and family, we never wish harm on them, or want them gone from our lives. So, when something happens unexpectedly it makes it worse to have grudges lingering or to live with regret. 

Whatever differences you may have, assess them and determine if it’s worth the wedge that it’s putting on your relationship.

Another lesson is that despite wealth and status, when we go, it hurts all the people we leave behind. 

Emotions and sadness don’t care about money or fame, they will tear you apart on the inside regardless of what someone was. 

Kobe’s family doesn’t feel any worse than the other families that were on that flight. 

When they showed the pictures of the victims, Kobe blended in with them, and the tragedy was of equal consequences for all. 

Nine people died, and that’s the bottom line. 

The last lesson to discuss here is: We are all mortal, fragile, and susceptible to die at any given moment.

When we die, they put your birth date separated by a dash then the date you die on your tombstone. 

We were all born, and we will all die, the only thing that separates us, is the dash, and what you accomplished with your life. 

This is for ALL OF US to consider when we are making the decisions that we will need to live with. 

How the dash defines us is based upon the decisions, and actions we take while we are alive, the impact we have on others and the legacy we will leave behind.

It’s your life, and only you have control of the things that live within that dash. 

A guy like Kobe will be able to fill that short dash with a remarkable story. 

I don’t know what philanthropic acts of kindness that he did while he was alive, but he certainly left a legacy, and although he was removed from life too soon, he certainly created an impact when he was here.

That being said, whether you were a larger than life superstar, or a small town Joe with substance abuse problems, the hurt that is left behind doesn’t discriminate, so do all the good that you can while you’re alive, because once we die, we are all the same, except for the dash that separates life and death.

With a heavy heart. 

 

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Matt Espeut, GoLocal's Health & Lifestyle Contributor has been a personal trainer and health & fitness consultant for over 25 years. He is the owner of Fitness Profiles, a one on one, and small group personal training company, as well as Providence Fit Body Boot Camp, located at 1284 North Main St., on the Providence/Pawtucket line. You can reach Matt at (401) 453-3200; on Facebook at "Matt Espeut", and on Twitter at @MattEspeut. "We’re all in this life together – let’s make it a healthy one.

 

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