Finneran: The WWE Rides The T

Friday, April 08, 2016

Tom Finneran, GoLocalProv MINDSETTER™

 

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Now that’s an overdue thought…………..

Will wonders never cease? The T, morning and evening host to thousands and thousands of riders, has decided to provide some instruction on “transit etiquette." 

It’s a pilot program, initially limited to a few stations to test the public’s aptitude for understanding that their idiotic and selfish behavior causes slowdowns on buses, trolleys, and trains. Bravo for testing the public’s aptitude. While they’re at it, they should test attitude as well.

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The T’s specific gripe is that the surge of selfish people charging into the just-opened doors of a train causes great hindrance to those riders who are attempting to leave the train, leading to longer loading and unloading times at each station.

God has America become dumb. Rude too. Do parents teach their children anything anymore? Things like patience, courtesy, and respect? 

Yes, your author is on his judgmental high horse again, sermonizing over the country’s decline in manners.

Every time I ride the T I’m reminded of the WWE minus the ingenious entertainment of Vince McMahon, Hulk Hogan, and Stone Cold Steve Austin. It’s just a crazy scene with lots of crazy people. And while I applaud the T’s initiative I’m pessimistic about the public’s ability to grasp the concept of simple decency.

Let’s get the gripes out on the table:

1)    I don’t want to hear your stupid music. Even if it’s Beethoven. Stick it in your own ear, not mine.
2)    I don’t want to hear your stupid phone call(s). Give the rest of us some peace and quiet.
3)    Get up off your fat rear end and give your seat to a woman or child. Any woman, any child.
4)    Try washing at least once a day. It will help your social life.
5)    Hold off on eating, drinking, and burping while riding on the T. We are not interested in your nutritional choices or the noises you are making. In fact, your choices are disgusting.

Now I realize that in this age of feminism and equality many guys think “hey, we’re all equal here”, leaving women, young and old, strong and frail, to be jostled by both the train and the standing crowd. I suspect that many of these nitwit guys would leave their own tired mothers standing and straining to stay upright in a sea of indifferent even opportunistic riders. 

There’s very little anyone can do in training such nitwits. Sometimes the occasional conspicuous flourish of a man giving up his seat to a woman might embarrass the nitwit in to a similar gesture, but I don’t hold out too much hope. Stupid is stupid, and you can’t fix stupid.

Perhaps the elderly gentleman on crutches or a walker has an excuse for remaining seated. A sudden lurch or fall could cause broken bones. But what’s the excuse for these young strong guys who want to lounge around like they’re at Club Med? By the way, another gripe---those young guys are rarely speaking the King’s English. More likely you’ll hear language that would make a sailor blush. Nor are they pre-occupied with a quiet read of a good book. Heaven forbid that they engage their shrunken brains.

It’s all enough to make one yearn for the return of the WWE good guys, enforcers of manners in the presence of women. I sincerely applaud the T. They have a good thought here. But the T cannot do it alone, not after two full generations of narcissistic self-absorption. No, what we need is for the T to reach out to the good guys, old-school and well-mannered. Bring back some muscle.

Yes, it’s time to bring back Bruno Sammartino.

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Tom Finneran is the former Speaker of the Massachusetts House of Representatives, served as the head the Massachusetts Biotechnology Council, and was a longstanding radio voice in Boston radio.

 

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