Your Hair Should Be Like Regis Philbin’s—Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
Monday, October 17, 2022
There should be a welcome break from the formality so often present in a doctor’s office. I could think of none other than my mother who might instigate such a break, invade that formality, and help us take ourselves less seriously.
Picture the scene. My elderly aunt called one day because she was not well (she had mild flu and was nervous). We gave her an immediate appointment. It was no surprise that she came with an entourage.
When I came out of the room after examining Aunt Della, I saw standing at my secretary’s desk a posse. It was a posse of senior citizens, four engaging women who were entertaining my secretary, now near convulsed with laughter. Who were these women?
GET THE LATEST BREAKING NEWS HERE -- SIGN UP FOR GOLOCAL FREE DAILY EBLASTWell, Della’s sisters (my mother and aunt), and two elderly cousins; the cadre of seniors who, because my aunt had to see the doctor, thought they would accompany her. Why? Did she need that much support? Why, no. They considered this jaunt an opportunity for a day out, and they had already made their diagnosis that she would be well enough to travel after the visit.
“What are you all doing here?” I queried as if I didn’t know.
“Well, we were sure that Della would be OK and would want to go for a treat. So, we’re planning to go to either The Olive Garden or The Newport Creamery.” Of course they were. Fine dining for them.
“Nice to see you all. You look great.” They were fashion aficionados, dressed for the best. “Enjoy. She’s fine and can take a break before she goes home.”
I turned and entered an examining room to see a new patient. As I was introducing myself and beginning to take her history, I heard a thunderous rap, rap at the door. My chair was adjacent to the door, so I was able, while still sitting, to turn, and crack it open. It was my mother brandishing her cane. “Yes, Mom, what?”
“Come out here. I need to talk to you.”
“C’mon, we just talked. I’m with a patient. What could be so important?” I stepped out, my hand still on the knob as I left the door slightly ajar.
“Your hair’s too short,” she blurted, now brandishing the cane in my face.
“You gotta be kidding! I’m with a patient, and you called me out for that!’ I was pissed.
“Yes, too short. It should be like Regis’.”
“Mom, you have to be joking. Regis wears a wig.”
Now waving her cane over my head, she came back with a firm reply, “He...does...not...wear... a...wig!”
Realizing that I had lost, I pivoted head down, back into the examining room while murmuring, “I don’t believe it, I don’t believe it.”
As I sat, red-faced, realizing the new patient had heard it all, I was comforted, sorta. “Don’t worry, Doctor. I understand. I have a mother like that.”
Dr. Ed Iannuccilli is the author of three popular memoirs, “Growing up Italian; Grandfather’s Fig Tree and Other Stories”, “What Ever Happened to Sunday Dinner” and “My Story Continues: From Neighborhood to Junior High.” NOW, he has written his fourth book "A Whole Bunch of 500 Word Stories."
LEARN MORE HERERelated Articles
- What Was It About Flying a Kite? - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- What is a Humanitarian? Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- The Daily Coffee Ritual - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- Honesty and Integrity; So Necessary Today. What Happened? - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- A 4th of July Ritual - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- My Memory of the Billy Club - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- Who Remembers the WPA? Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- I Get Close to Muhammad Ali - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- A Day About Pencils - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- Censorship. What Is Happening? Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- I Am Inducted - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- What Should I Have Done? What Would You Do? Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- What’s to Become of Our Parades? Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- Downsizing: We Close. Stuff Appears. - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- Downsizing: Now the Books - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- Downsizing: Less is More. Really? - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- Downsizing: We Open the PODS - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- My Connection to Royalty - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- Downsizing: To the Dump, I Go - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- Downsizing: It’s a Bear - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- Who Needs a Dose of Spirituality? Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- Taking a Lesson from the Ants - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- It Was a Hot Day and Elvis Popped Up - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- The Tomatoes Are Coming, The Tomatoes Are Coming - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
- Advice for Downsizers - Dr. Ed Iannuccilli
