Steve “Hand” Jobs

It's not our hardware. It's your hand. So says Steve Jobs. So his remedy to widespread iPhone reception problems is to distribute free iProphylactics to shield your filthy hand from his museum-quality hardware device. 

 

 

Confession: I love Steve Jobs. I sometimes grow a three day beard and walk around the house in dark blue jeans and a black mock turtleneck muttering "who's a genius? I'M a genius!" So this slap of the hand hurts.  

 

Apple designs beautiful products. They look spectacular. They usually work spectacularly, too. This incarnation of the iPhone, shockingly, is a gilded turd. All form, no function. It's OK, Steve. It happens. They crucified the last perfect person. (Sorry-- that was politically insensitive. For those of you who think Jobs is the second coming, my apologies.)

 

That's what makes this misstep so hard to fathom. You have a bigger market cap than Microsoft. You're arguably the most admired American brand. Do the right thing. Recall the phones and replace them with ones that look 90% as good but work 100% better. You'll actually grow your share, I promise you. 

 

Today you implied Apple's all about the bottle, not the wine. That's not a message to be proud of. I'd call to complain, but I'd probably just drop the call anyway.