Welcome! Login | Register

Subscribe Now: Free Daily EBlast


Newport Manners & Etiquette: Mens Short-Shorts, Unrequited Love & Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Wednesday, June 21, 2017


New trends in the wedding etiquette RSVP stir up the pot, unrequited love, and how short or long should men's short-shorts be? All questions to Didi Lorillard at NewportManners this week.

Mens short-shorts

Q.  What about men's short-shorts? How to go short on a hot summer day without looking foolish wearing short-shorts? How do I accessorize: socks, no socks? Shoes, what kind?  George, Brooklyn, NY


A.  Short-shorts don't have to be a fashion faux pas. Try shirting with a loose silhouette on top of a great set of legs -- burly and tan. The trend is this:  short-shorts hemlines are on the rise. Conventional shorts end at the knee. Experiment by elevating the hemline of traditional shorts steadily going shorter until you reach a length that feels comfortable on you -- mid-thigh should be about right. Unless, of course, you want to look like a marathon runner. 

You wouldn't be comfortable for long wearing short-shorts that are painfully too tight.

Place your hands down by your sides and if the tips of your fingers can feel your shorts, the shorts are too long and are not iconic short-shorts. 


Unrequited love

Q.  My boyfriend does not spend time with me because he says he is too busy and loves his work too much. What should I do?  ED, Harare, Zimbabwe


A.  It sounds as though your boyfriend isn't interested in you, so ask yourself:  why would you want to spend time with someone who doesn't want to be with you? If I were in your situation, I would forget about him. He's not your boyfriend. Find someone who wants to share their life with you. Someone who moves heaven and earth to make time to be with you. 

Don't waste your emotions and energy on a person who is clearly not as interested in you as you are in him.

If you're desperately in love with him, have a talk to find out if there is something special he would like to do, if he did have some time off. Then make a plan and help him keep it. Be flexible once or even twice if he says he needs to postpone. But the third time he backs out of the date, break off with him. Move on.

If you don't value yourself, then he won't value you either. Take a stand, but be flexible -- to a point.


Tragic or farcical marriage

Q.  The daughter of a childhood friend who is also a work colleague, with whom I frequently play golf, is marrying a man who is gay. My knowledge comes from a highly reputable source. A big wedding will take place in a Catholic church, with a dinner dance reception at their estate for 300 guests; an expensive dance band will play all night. Everybody is happy, but me. I've known the family my whole life. What is my responsibility? Do I tell my childhood friend the next time we're teeing off that his future son-in-law is gay? Or do I hypocritically attend the wedding with my wife, who also knows the groom is gay?  Name Withheld, East Hampton, NY


A.  You might be heroic telling the bride-to-be, not her father, that you've heard from a reliable source that her fiancé is gay. But the better part of wisdom is simply to keep quiet.

What happens if the bride doesn't believe you? It's probably a risk you shouldn't take. You and your wife couldn't go to the wedding.  People would wonder why you weren't there.

What if the bride already knows and says, "I love him and he loves me and we're getting married," and you hear Edith Piaf singing in the background, "Je ne regrette rien"? 

You're walking a tightrope between comedy and tragedy. What if she acknowledges the situation? It will feel like a tragedy, and you will only come off badly.  Or perhaps she is completely ignorant and you'll know you're part of a farce. Is she naive and too innocent to understand what she's getting into? Are you heroic enough to ask if they've made love?

As close as you are to the bride's family, it is none of your business. Dance with abandonment at her wedding, knowing that the situation in their marriage is not your concern. 

If you feel you really have to say something, ask your old friend the father-of-the-bride, if the bride and groom have a prenup. Leave it at that.


Wedding invitation RSVP

Q.  How do I reply to a formal wedding invitation RSVP when there was no response card enclosed with the wedding invitation?  –Barbara, Torrance, CA


 A.  We’re seeing a trend in the RSVP that’s putting people off-guard. You’re not the only one befuddled. Wedding invitations are arriving without the requisite reply card with its self-addressed return envelope. And, what’s more, there is no choice to make as to whether to check off beef, chicken, or fish on the menu order for the reception dinner.

Reserved for formal weddings, the etiquette of not providing a reply card is actually rather chic.

In six or seven separate lines, on your best personal stationery, you handwrite your own reply: 

1. The name(s) of the person(s) replying: Ms. Barbara Brown or Mr. and Mrs. John Brown

2.  Information as to whether you are accepting or regretting: accept(s) with pleasure or sincerely regret(s)


When accepting:

3.  The third line is the politeness: the kind invitation of

4.  The name(s) of the host(s): Mr. Williams or Mr. and Mrs. Williams

5.  The date of the wedding:  for July tenth

6.  The time of the wedding: at six o’clock


When regretting:

3. The third line states the reason you are regretting:  that because of a previous engagement

4. The fourth line says who is unable to accept: she/they will be unable to accept

5. The politeness:  the kind invitation of

6. The name(s) of the host(s):  Mrs. Williams or Mr. and Mrs. Williams

7. the date of the wedding:  for July tenth


For example:

Ms. Barbara Brown

accepts with pleasure

the kind invitation of

Mr. and Mrs. Williams

for Saturday, July tenth

at six o’clock


Ms. Barbara Brown and Mr. Andrew Chase

sincerely regret

that because of a previous engagement

they will be unable to accept

the kind invitation of  Mrs. Williams

for Saturday, July tenth

  • As you can see from the above examples, there isn’t much punctuation, which is why it is important to place the facts  on six or seven consecutive lines.
  • When the stationery you have doesn’t fit the occasion, use a boxed note card: either a simple plain note card or a correspondence card with a motif. 


Addressing your reply envelope:

Using the envelope that came with your correspondence note card, or letterhead, address it to the name and address that appears on the original invitation envelope.

  • When there is only the return address and no name associated with it, use the name of the host(s) that appears on the wedding invitation when addressing your reply envelope.


Didi Lorillard researches manners and etiquette at NewportManners.


Related Slideshow: 25 Things to Look Forward to in New England This Summer - 2018

Prev Next

Sipping Del's Lemonade on a Hot Day 

While you can probably find Del's Lemonade somewhere during any month of the year, drinking it in the winter is just not the same as when it is a hot day in the midst of summer. 

As summer approaches, be sure to locate our nearest Del's Lemonade stand. 

Prev Next


Providence, RI

Waterfire is back for the summer and it's an event and experience that must be had. 

Waterfire is Providence's signature event bringing in people from all over New England and the country to see it. 

A great night out for families and couples alike. 

Prev Next

Visiting Southwick Zoo 

Mendon, Ma 

Can't wait to get back to the zoo and visit the animals at Southwick Zoo. Be sure to check out the new baby zebra that the zoo just welcomed. 

The Zoo is open 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. 

Click here for more information. 

Prev Next

Taking a Cruise on Lake Winnipesaukee aboard the M/S Mount Washington

New Hampshire

Lake Winnipesaukee offers some of the best scenery in all of New England and there is no better place to see it from then the M/S Mount Washington. 

Click here for more information.

PHOTO: Winnipesaukee.com

Prev Next

The Burlington Discover Jazz Festival 

Burlington, Vermont

The Burlington Discover Jazz Festival takes place from June 1 to June 10 in downtown Burlington, Vermont. 

This 10 day celebration features four stages with free live music from Leslie Odom Jr. and more. The festival also will feature local food and much more. 

For more information, click here. 

Prev Next

Walking Along Narragansett Beach 

Narragansett, RI

Look forward to taking a stroll all the way from chair six to chair one as the waves crash along the shore.

Keep an eye out for sea glass as Narrow River or The Towers come into view.

Prev Next

Taking a Cruise on a Windjammer 


Head to Maine and sleep aboard a National Landmark, the Maine Windjammer Fleet. 

Go on a three, four or six-day cruise and get closer than ever before to wildlife like whales, eagles, and porpoises while you see some of the best coastal scenery that North America has to offer. 

Click here for more information. 

Prev Next


Providence, RI 

After a successful first festival, the PVDFest returns to Providence for the third year and will take place from June 7 to June 10. 

The festival will bring in art, music, performances and more from all over the United States and the world for the free outdoor festival.

Click here for more information. 

Prev Next

Catching a Worcester Bravehearts Game 

Worcester, Ma 

Year after year, the Worcester Bravehearts are one of the best baseball teams in New England. 

They bring in some of the best college talent from across the region to compete for the Futures League Championship. 

Don't miss a game. 

Click here for more information.

Prev Next

Newport Folk Festival 

Newport, RI

The Newport Folk Festival is set to be held from July 27-29 and will feature bands such as Wilco, Fleet Foxes, and The Avett Brothers. 

Don't miss out on one of the biggest concert events of the summer. 

Click here for more info

Prev Next

Visiting Cape Playhouse Theatre 

Cape Cod

Taking a ride to Cape Cod and visit the oldest summer theatre in the country, Cape Playhouse. Cape Playhouse was first opened in 1927 by Raymond Moore. 

The theatre has been home to some of the biggest stars to ever grace a stage like Bette Davis, Humphrey Bogart amongst others.

Click here for more information

Prev Next

Enjoying the South County Hot Air Balloon Fest 

Kingston, RI 

There is nothing quite like the Hot Air Ballon Fest. This is the place to enjoy glowing hot air balloons, crafts, music, food, fishing, carnival rides, fireworks, and more.

The festival will be held from July 20-22 on the URI athletic fields. 

Click here for more information

Prev Next

Participating in the Worcester World Cup 2018

Worcester, MA

The 2017 Worcester World Cup is set to take place from Friday, August 10 to Sunday, August 12. 

The Worcester World Cup is more than a soccer tournament. It's a celebration of Worcester and a safe, friendly family event that people look forward to all year.

Click here for more information

Prev Next

Newport Jazz Festival 

Newport, RI

The 2018 festival is set to take place from Friday, August 3 to Sunday, August 5. 

The festival will show off over 50 individual jazz ensembles on four stages including performances at the International Tennis Hall of Fame and Fort Adams State Park.

Click here for more information

Prev Next

Seeing a Movie at the Rustic Drive-In

North Smithfield

Look forward to Calling up your friends, pack a picnic, and sit in your car as feature films are projected on giant outdoor screens.

The audio plays right through your radio, so be sure to turn the volume up high as you snack on your candy and popcorn. 

Click here for more information

Prev Next

Zip Lining in the Berkshires 

Looking for something new and exciting? Head to the Berkshires and get yourself on a zip line, maybe even do a canopy tour. 

There are three different tour options, starting with the base area tour which lasts an hour or the Moutain Top or Valley Jump tour which takes three hours. Both of those are sure to shoot some adrenaline into your day. 

Click here for more information

Prev Next

Watching 4th of July Fireworks

The 4th of July, the holiday of the summer. 

It is never too early to start planning your day and figuring out exactly where you are going to watch a parade and fireworks this year. 

Prev Next

Eating a Clam Cake From Flo’s

Portsmouth, Middletown

Be excited about heading to Flo's and taking a bite of a Flo’s clam cake and you’ll understand why they’ve been around since 1936.

Dip it in a side of tartar sauce or enjoy as is.

Click here for more information

Prev Next

The Little League World Series 

While the Little League World Series does not take place in New England, the series is arguably the marquee sporting event of the summer. 

There will be a New England team in it this year and therefore, the Little League World Series is always something to look forward to

Prev Next

Boston Calling 

Boston, Ma

Boston Calling, the first New England music festival of the season kicks off in downtown Boston on the weekend of May 25 to the 27.

The festival features a performance from Eminem and much more. 

Click here for more information

Prev Next

Vermont Summer Festival 

Manchester, Vermont

The Vermont Summer celebration features everything from horses to shopping at onsite boutiques and plenty of places for food and drinks.

The celebration takes place from July 3 through August 12. 

Click here for more information 

Prev Next

Playing Golf at Harbor Lights

Warwick, RI 

Harbor Lights in Warwick offers golfers a great place to tee it up this summer. 

Not to mention the amazing scenery and the great food at the Par + Tackle restaurant. 

Click here for more information 

Prev Next

RI International Film Festival 

The Rhode Island International Film Festival will celebrate their 35th anniversary beginning on August 7 and going through August 12. 

The Festival features the best local films made with some of the best local talent. 

Click here for more information

Prev Next

Catching a PawSox Game at McCoy 

Pawtucket, RI

Nothing says summer time like sitting at McCoy Stadium and watching a Pawtucket Red Sox game. 

While the PawSox are already in action, the weather is getting warmer and it will be much more comfortable to go out to a game. 

Click here for more information

Prev Next

Billy Joel at Fenway Park

Boston, MA

For the 5th consecutive year, rock and roll legend Billy Joel will play Fenway Park. 

Billy Joel released his first hit song, arguably still his biggest hit, Piano Man in 1973 and since then has become the 6th best-selling recording artist and the third best-selling solo artist in the United States. 

Joel was inducted into the  Songwriters Hall of  Fame in 1992 and then the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1999. 

Click here for Tickets


Related Articles


Enjoy this post? Share it with others.

Delivered Free Every
Day to Your Inbox