Dear John: Advice for Rhode Island
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Dear John,
My sister and her family recently adopted a dog – admirable when so many people are giving up their pets because of this economy. However, she named the dog after our much-loved and recently deceased mother. This upsets me and my kids quite a bit and I'm not sure how to approach her about it.
She sees this as a way of honoring our mother's memory and I see it as a daily reminder of our loss and grief—we live in the same neighborhood and see each other every day.
GET THE LATEST BREAKING NEWS HERE -- SIGN UP FOR GOLOCAL FREE DAILY EBLASTHow can I get her to consider re-naming the dog?
Sincerely,
Put Out in Pawtucket
Dear Put Out,
Of all the ways to honor your mother’s memory! Your sister’s desire to do so does indicate, at least, that she is a caring person, albeit one with less-than-wonderful judgment. I don’t think she’d want to honor someone who’s no longer with us at the expense of people who are. One day when the two of you are alone, gently tell her you’re sure her intentions were good, but her dog’s name is upsetting to you and your kids. Propose other ways to honor your mother’s memory – perhaps your two families could make a donation to your local animal shelter in her name.
John
Dear John,
I'm looking to start a business and I'm short on funds. I have in my possession a cherry 1966 Ford Mustang coupe that I have been restoring since the 10th grade and am considering selling it to start my endeavor and pursue my dreams. In its current state, it's worth about $15,000 to $20,000.
Selling the car would secure the amount of funds necessary to begin my business, but I would not be happy without this car. The catch is that my two younger brothers, my father, uncle and I have spent numerous hours restoring this iconic, classic, muscle car, and it has a lot of sentimental value. Working on the car has taught me a work ethic and has allowed me to take a project from start to finish. It would be really cool to hold on to it, but I am hesitant to take out a small business loan.
If I were to take a loan I'm sure that I could get it paid back really fast.
What would you advise me to do? I hope your answer will encourage me to suck it up and take the loan.
Thanks,
Unmotivated Seller
Dear Unmotivated,
For 25 years I’ve tried to fill the hole in my life that was left when I impulsively sold a beloved guitar. Like your car, this wasn’t just any guitar.
I would never lightly advise someone to borrow money, but in your case, I say get to a bank tomorrow morning. You’re confident you’ll be able to pay it back, and these days, a bank won’t loan you a dime if your confidence is unwarranted. If you absolutely must, you can always sell the car down the road, but once it’s gone, it’s gone forever.
John
Dear John,
I love dressing up and wearing makeup. I really take pride in how I look and make an effort to look my best every day. All of my friends tell me I should be a model, and I would really like to pursue this as a career. I have participated in several private fashion shows and I don't mind telling you I was absolutely the star.
My husband hates the idea of me modeling for a living, has told me I'm too skinny, my nose is too big, and I'm destined to fail. How can I get him to be more supportive? By the way, he's a really good-looking guy in an Edward Norton sort of way and could have a modeling career, himself!
Please help.
Model Wife
Dear Model Wife,
Your husband may be handsome, but he sounds like an ugly person. Assuming your modeling dreams are realistic, your husband should be encouraging simply because he loves you and wants you to be fulfilled. Instead, he’s threatened, insecure, and mean. To pursue your career, I would seek the advice of a reputable modeling agency and see if you have what it takes. (Sorry, the opinions of friends mean nothing.) To strengthen your marriage, I would seek the advice of a reputable couples therapist.
Or put on a few pounds, get a nose job, and dump him.
John