BACK TO SCHOOL 2011: Tips for Easing New-School Nerves
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Starting a new school? If you’re moving to a new building, taking a different bus, enrolling in difficult classes, and making new friends, things will be changing. This is the time to accept change and accept the challenge.
There’s no doubt that change may be hard to adjust to, at least in the beginning. David Duhaime, Psychologist at Moses Brown School and Marta Iachetta, licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and a certified Student Assistance Counselor, offer expert tips for an easier transition.
For new middle school students
Visit your new school and reach out: Try to go to a concert or sporting event at your new school and you’ll begin to feel like part of the community. If you know somebody already at the school, ask them about any problems they had with their transition. Don’t be afraid to ask if they could help you if you need it when you get there.
GET THE LATEST BREAKING NEWS HERE -- SIGN UP FOR GOLOCAL FREE DAILY EBLASTBe open to everyone: It’s not all about being popular. “Everybody wants to have friends and be liked, but many middle schoolers spend too much of their time and energy worrying about popularity and getting drawn into social drama,” said Duhaime. “If you make an effort to be kind to everyone, keep an open mind and try to recognize that everyone has something to offer, your social life will be just fine in the long run.”
For parents of new middle school students
Seek balance: Middle school is a time for building foundations and students need to learn how to function independently. “Although their wings are not yet very strong, they need to learn how to fend for themselves, socially as well as academically,” said Duhaime. “All of them will take their lumps along the way, and it's hard for parents to resist the urge to swoop in and rescue them. Sometimes that IS necessary. But when we do that too readily, we erode their self-confidence and plant the idea in theirs minds that we don't believe they are capable of working things out on their own.”
Know the teachers: Develop a collaborative relationship with your child's teachers. “When it comes to parenting, even the most experienced among us are little more than amateurs. Teachers--especially middle school
teachers--are professionals. They are your best allies,” said Duhaime.
For new high school students
Hit the ground running: Academic success requires consistent effort. “Don't tell yourself it's OK to start slowly,” said Duhaime. “Take the first month of school to get the lay of the land, and then put your foot on the gas.” Learning will be interesting and fun if you open yourself to it. New teams, clubs, and activities are welcoming you at your new school. This is the best way to meet other students who also have a similar interest. As you start to become involved, you will feel more comfortable at school.
Love your teachers: High school teachers are interested and excited about their subjects and they want to share their passion with students. Show them you are open to learning and they will help you succeed and master the material. “Sit in the back of the room with a scowl on your face and your notebook closed and they will think you don't care about the subject they love. They will also think you don't care about them,” said Duhaime. “Teachers are people, too, believe it or not. Love them, and they will surely love you back. Even if you don't love them, they will probably love you anyway; it just won't be as much fun.”
Understand social norms: It will be helpful to understand social expectations in advance. “Local research repeatedly indicates that most high school students do not drink alcohol, smoke marijuana, use tobacco or use other drugs,” said Iachetta. “Misperceptions of this reality can actually encourage risky behavior that would never have otherwise occurred if students were aware that it was in fact both socially acceptable and normal to not use.” The top ways students avoid illegal substances include spending time with well-behaved friends, doing physical activity that they find fun, and saying no and meaning it. “The more students challenge the myth that ‘everyone's doing it,’” said Iachetta, “the more they are on their way to a healthy, safe and successful high school career.”
For parents of new high school students
Encourage passion: It’s not all about the GPA, SAT score, and college essay. “If high school becomes just another hurdle on the bumpy road to a college admission, these four years will be pretty grim,” said Duhaime. “Try to encourage your child's passion, whatever it may be, and you will be doing more for him or her than any SAT prep course will ever do.”
Communicate openly: Family dynamic plays an important role in a high school student’s career. “Conversations between parents and their children about behavioral expectations and consequences ought to be clear, enforceable and enforced. Parental disapproval is a key factor in the choices students make,” said Iachetta. “The more open the lines of communication, the easier it will be to support healthy choices, provide guidance where appropriate, and intervene with help if necessary.”
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