Leather Storrs: A Word for the Unseasoned Chef

Thursday, May 07, 2015

Leather Storrs, GoLocal Contributor

At least once a week, when I’m throwing a 50# bag of something over my shoulder, I’ll mutter my favorite Nick Cage line from every movie he’s made this century: “I’m getting too old for this sh*%”. And it’s not just the body. Often, I’ll find myself in the walk-in cooler, spinning in circles wondering what the hell I came for. But here’s the old codger capper: I’ve begun to bitch about the “kids these days.” Bring on the bifocals.

The culinary landscape has shifted so drastically in the last 20 years, many of us who have manned the trenches find it unrecognizable when we lift up our heads. We’ve moved from servants to superstars and while the phenomenon makes for good TV, increased exposure and bigger checks, the downside is steep and treacherous. Curious kids and career changers are seduced by the shiny part of our industry but ignorant to the seamy underbelly.

The percentage of Chefs who make a real splash is miniscule. Of that group, the ones who make serious coin are countable if you take off your shoes. Most of us fail. Most culinary school graduates are out of the industry within 5 years. Lots of us smoke, drink and take drugs. Lots of us get divorced because of the job. The vast majority of us toil in obscurity for very little money in a dangerous and physically challenging environment. Nevertheless, culinary schools proliferate and profit on the dreams of kids certain they’re the next big thing.  

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Listen up kid, you’re not, and I’ll tell you why just as soon as I stir the Metamucil into my orange juice… ummm, Fiber-y. Let’s take Gordon Ramsey, who probably makes more than any other celebrity chef. He’s got a great brand and rabid fans who love to watch him take the piss out of cooks and kids. But here’s Ramsey’s dirty little secret- he can really cook. Ramsey was a hoodlum whose first job was under the terrifying brilliance of Marco Pierre White, Britain and the world’s youngest three star chef. Tales of White’s demanding and maniacal leadership are legion. But that’s what it takes to maintain three stars and Ramsey learned discipline, technique and an unwillingness to compromise.

Unfortunately, White’s brand of leadership included psychological and physical beatings as well as inconsistent pay and complete disregard for overtime. Ramsey took it because he didn’t have a choice. He also didn’t have a merry band of lawyers on the look-out for labor transgressions. And there’s the rub. The environment that made the current crop of top Chefs is gone. It’s not bad, it’s just different.

The magnifying glass under which we now operate has exposed injustice and burned away the tyranny of the chef. The cooks that come out of these schools have big debt and an enormous sense of entitlement. They will not stand for abuse, they will walk or they will sue. Oh, and they want to be the Sous chef.

I’m genuinely pleased that the culinary industry is being dragged into the modern world of reasonable labor practices, but I’m furious that so many young cooks are chumps. Last week I set up 3 working interviews. One cook called to say he couldn’t make it. The other two didn’t bother to show up. My friends and fellows around the country are having similar problems. “Not in my day” is the common refrain.

You can’t learn how to cook from a book or in your perfectly outfitted classroom. You need to get your ass handed to you nightly, for years. You think Gretzky went to Hockey school? Respect is earned and the ones who have it have the scars and stories to prove it. If you want to be the next big thing, seek out the best chefs and offer yourself to them. Put down the clipboard and hang up on the agent. Sharpen your knives and submit to the forge. Perhaps you’ll be hammered into something magnificent. 

Leather Storrs is an Oregon native who has served 20 years in professional kitchens. He owns a piece of two area restaurants: Noble Rot and Nobleoni at Oregon College of Art and Craft, where he yells and waves arms. He quietly admits to having been a newspaper critic in Austin, Texas and Portland.

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